Masochistic Love: A Songfic of Pain by Three Days Grace
by Damian Lovat
Summary: In an attempt to gain greater strengths, what is Sonic willing to sacrifice? His friends? His own will to remain himself? Song used is owned by Three Days Grace and Sonic is owned by Sega.


*Hey guys! So, my past few stories were a bust due to lack of ambition, so I guess I should just start writing oneshots from now on. Thanks for the support!*

**Masochistic Love**

It's beautiful. So beautiful. From my experiences, I've learned that all things have beauty, but none as much as pain.

_Pain, without love_  
_Pain, I can't get enough_  
_Pain, I like it rough_  
_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

Ironically, it came to be after a failure of mine.

Yet another fight against Robotnik had left me exhausted, tired, run-down. Dull. I had never felt such lifelessness, all because of the repetitive nature of our encounters. I also saw myself getting weaker, slower, hell, even predictable. The life I swore against at all costs. So I sought out help, and there was on I knew who could lead me in the greater direction, one whose discipline trained him to be the pantheon of brute strength in my adventures.

Knuckles didn't know what to think of it at first. For him to train me? The thought had never crossed his mind, plus he claimed it to be far too brutal for me to withstand. So, naturally, I insisted on becoming his pupil. Warm-ups consisted of circuit training and core work, both of which I did on my own. I complained about its simplicity, which drove Knuckles to cut to the chase. He said it would teach me to be patient about my training, but he was ever so wrong.

He came into the room weilding a large rod, seemingly made of wood, and told me to turn around and hold on to the rusted metal pole before me. I did so and looked straight, sure that it was just some way to trip me up until I felt the cold shackles connected my wrists and ankles to the pole. I flinched a bit before hearing Knuckles chuckle, finally giving in to the fear he tried to instill in me. But quickly, very quickly, I felt it all melt away into the center of my back.

The rod was covered in wood, yes, but had a core cast from iron. Its entire four feet kept crashing into my spine, and all I could feel was... joy! Sheer bliss! All the fear I had had went into the rod, and I was met by its sweet, tender kisses to my back. Each _CRACK!_ was beautiful, each splinter was like a finger running along my skin. I couldn't believed that he would show me something so precious instead of keeping it all to himself.

"Have you had enough, Sonic? Are you done yet?"

I was crying, but these were tears of utter pleasure. How could I be done? So I told him that he was not, and that I wanted more, needed more, craved more. He delivered only for a while longer before stopping himself, that selfish bastard.

"Sonic, I... I think you've had enough. I couldn't even go half this far when I began training. For God's sake, your back is a bloody mess! Just... clean yourself up in the reflection chambers. And then I want to talk with you."

He just walked away at that point. Disgusted, I believe, that he couldn't last as long as I did.

_You're sick of feeling numb_  
_You're not the only one_  
_I'll take you by the hand_  
_And I'll show you a world that you can understand_  
_This life is filled with hurt_  
_When happiness doesn't work_  
_Trust me and take my hand_  
_When the lights go out you will understand_

True to its name, the Reflection Chambers were interconnected bath houses built of mirrors. The mirrors in the chambers showed me the truth; my back was indeed crimson and unrecognizable as a part of the body. I sighed, now only barely able to feel the sweet sting as I stepped into the closest shower. Each one had different soaps and salts meant for cleansing, but I felt that the only cleansing I needed was that of the rod against my flesh. The scalding hot water revived the pain only slightly, but did nothing to reenergize me. I poured the soap onto my spines to clean the blood away and then reached for the salts. My hand was full of the grains as I slid them down my neck and then-

And then, everything.

It shocked me, honestly. I had not expected such a sudden revitalization of the pain. I gritted my teeth into a grin of pleasure, feeling as if what I was doing was so great, so addiciting that it was dirty. Indecent. Wrong. But I knew better, that this was far better than any of that, anyway. And that this was something worth sharing to the world.

Knuckles was waiting outside of the reflection chambers, the look of worry and sorrow on his face.

"We're never to talk about what happened today."

"Why? Because you don't want to share something this great to the world? This is something we could all use!"

"Damn it, Sonic! You don't get it! That exercise was about discipline and tolerance to pain, not even close to the self-indulgence you made out of it! It was a moment of education, and you tore it all to hell!"

He was growing furious over this, and for reasons I could not comprehend. I sincerely wanted to spread this joy to the rest of our people. But I saw something else in his anger: an opritunity. And so I kept arguing with him, taunting him until the critical moment of attack. His spiked fist lunged into my stomach with full, hatred-fueled force. My body curled forward around his hand as my stomach leaked out the blood produced from the protrusions piercing my skin. The rod, I learned, was only a teaser of the pain Knuckles could deal. I couldn't breathe, and my throat was raw from trying to withdraw air. every inch of my body writhed in the beauty of it all, and I finaly knew what true pleasure was. I felt as if I were home, under my covers with Blaze, only here I felt something she could never have given me.

I fell to the floor with a hard thud and slouched over, relishing every moment that I could. Knuckles picked me up by my shoulders, his face a mere inch from mine.

"I'm going to say this, and I'm going to say it once. You have a problem, Sonic, and you better deal with it. Until you do, you are considered an enemy to Angel Island. You have ten minutes to get the hell off my rock."

_Pain, without love_  
_Pain, I can't get enough_  
_Pain, I like it rough_  
_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_  
_Pain, without love_  
_Pain, I can't get enough_  
_Pain, I like it rough_  
_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

I decided it sound advice to leave the floating island and head home. I had to spread my findings eventually, right? And who better than the one I love?

Blaze was waiting, as if she'd known what I was thinking. She was under the sheets, but it was obvious that she lacked any sort of clothing. I was grinning like a fool when I approached her, removing the linens and climbing atop her. Her eyes were closed in ecstacy, unaware of the request I was about to ask of her.

"Burn me."

"W-what?"

"I said to burn me, Blaze. Anywhere, just burn me."

She hesitated, but then complied. I felt a small ember build behind my neck, but I craved a full wildfire. I knew how to build it up, and Blaze didn't expect it. I gripped her arms and began to tighten my grip.

"Ow, Sonic, you're, you're hurting m-m-me-AAAAHHH!"

The beauty I had experienced earlier I gave to Blaze, and in turn she burned me even greater. I eventually couldn't grip her any tighter and had to settle at the current flame, the only thing offsetting being the scent of burnt quills in the air. I carried on with my end of our relation until the every end, eventually letting go of my love and laying beside her. I was confused as to why she was crying, and she looked into my eyes, also confused, unaware of how to react.

"Wh-what the hell was that?"

I shook my head, unaware of how to respond. Hours later, I could hear her crying into the phone, telling whoever was on the other end that I wasn't the same, I wasn't the Sonic she fell in love with. And I had to agree. I was enlightened, and I was far, far more alive than anyone I had ever met.

_Anger and agony_  
_Are better than misery_  
_Trust me I've got a plan_  
_When the lights go off you will understand_

This went on for weeks after I had explained everything to my beloved. We had agreed that so long as I did nothing to her, she would burn, scratch, and even bite me as much as she could manage. We applied pokers, cutlery, and ever a pair of scissors in our escapades. She loved me and wouldn't leave despite not understanding my new ways, but this variety was not enough; Blaze simply couldn't deliver.

I knew only one person who could mtach Knuckles in strength, and I knew how to get a hold of him. The promise of a Chaos emerald is not so easily resisted by this ebony death machine. As soon as he came into the clearing, Shadow glared into my eyes with his no-nonsense way of communication. He snarled at me to give him the emerald, and I simply smirked and wagged my finger at him. And then he lunged, both of his hands grasping my throat and slamming my head into the pavement below. His rage prompted him to force his fists into my skull, all the while a laughed in the utter grace of pain he unwittingly gave to me. He slammed his hands down one last time before pulling my close to him, delivering one of his usual insults.

"WHAT!? ARE YOU SLOW OR SOMETHING!? FIGHT BACK AND STOP WASTING MY TIME!"

I only kept laughing, my blood occasionally splattering his muzzle. Through gritted teeth, he threw me aside and began to walk away, yelling about a waste of time. I couldn't just let him walk off. So I pulled out my trump card and hurled the sharpened knife from last night's affair into his back. I watched him keel over and turn, the perfect image of pure shock and horror.

_Pain, without love_  
_Pain, I can't get enough_  
_Pain, I like it rough_  
_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_  
_Pain, without love_  
_Pain, I can't get enough_  
_Pain, I like it rough_  
_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing_  
_Rather feel pain_

"Son...Sonic..."

_I know that you're wounded_  
_You know that I'm here to save you_  
_You know I'm always here for you_  
_I know that you'll thank me later_

"Can't you see it, Shadow? Can't you see the glory of it? It's beauty is infinite! We live in a world of hurt, a world where happiness doesn't work. You of all people should know that! Youu can't go on without Maria, and you don't have any way to cope! But here it is! It's pain! Pain, without love! God, I can't get enough. You know when people say that the like it rough? This is it! This is the pure joy! That adrenaline rush before it all goes black! What do you say?"

_Pain, without love_  
_Pain, can't get enough_  
_Pain, I like it rough_  
_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

"I..."

_Pain, without love_  
_Pain, I can't get enough_  
_Pain, I like it rough_  
_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

"I..."

_Pain, without love_  
_Pain, I can't get enough_  
_Pain, I like it rough_  
_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

"I think you're fucking crazy, Sonic. I think you're sick. Twisted. Hopeless."

_Rather feel pain than nothing at all_

"You're hopeless, Sonic."

And maybe I am, but I'd rather be hopeless and feel pain than be fine and feel nothing at all.

_I'd rather feel pain..._


End file.
